The Book of Beasts - Chapter 5
Medieval fables by Ramon Llull, translated and adapted from the Catalan
[For the start of the tales see Part 1]
Big Cat Diplomacy Goes Bad, and a Trial by Combat
At the hostel that night, the Panther and the Leopard heard some very bad things from the innkeeper about how the King of the Humans was a greedy money-grubbing tyrant who liked to raise taxes continually for his feasting, and employed corrupt officials who extracted bribes.
Sure enough, when they arrived at the castle gates the next day for a farewell audience with the Man King, the gatekeeper demanded a fee to let them pass. Once inside, it seemed that the King had taken a sudden liking to the Leopard, asking him to sit next to him on his right hand and completely snubbing the Panther. So the Panther felt a bit left out and jealous.
The Leopard, after a fair bit of stroking behind the ears from the king, finally asked him if he had any final message for them to take back to their liege lord, the Lion King. The Man King said:
Oh, uh, fraternal greetings and all that. From his brother king, and so on. And tell him to send me a wolf and huge scary bear, because I’ve got a great big dog now, and I want to see how it does fighting such ferocious beasts. Should be jolly entertaining to have few dogfights in the court, what?
The animal ambassadors, Leopard and Panther, took their leave without human gifts of any kind for their Lion King, and with the definite sensation that the King of the Humans was taking them for a ride.
The Leopard said to the extremely upset Panther on the way home that he’d heard that since humans had eternal souls, there was no doubt that the Man King would be punished in hell forever and forever for his sins. The Panther said nothing, still miffed at being ignored in the human court. The Leopard went on:
You know, I’m just glad that we’re unreasoning beasts without any soul at all, so we don’t have to worry about eternity and eternal punishment. What a relief it is to know that when I die, that’ll be the end of it. So glad to have no soul and no capacity for language and reason! Am I right?
And he talked at some length about the blessings of being a poor dumb beast who would just die without any next-life nonsense to plague him with anxiety. This monologue lasted all the way home to the Land of the Beasts. But the Panther still said nothing, feeling great resentment at the way the Leopard kept getting preferential treatment wherever they went.
Meanwhile, in the court of the Lion King, things had started to get pretty hairy. Reynard the Crafty Fox, who’d got a job as doorkeeper to the Lion King by means of his wiles, had talked up the fantastic beauty of Lady Leopard, while her husband Lord Leopard was away on the king’s business in the Human land. The Fox had convinced the Lion King that Lady Leopard was the finest-looking female around, and now the Lion King was lusting after her, despite the offence to his own wife the Lioness Queen and of course to Lord Leopard, who was a trusted right hand to the king.
The other animals, seeing what was going on, were very concerned at the Fox’s wicked influence. The big Ox took the Fox aside and said:
Fox, I wouldn’t want to be in your paws once Lord Leopard and the Lioness Queen find out what kind of mischief you’ve been causing, making the Lion King get all hot and heavy for Lady Leopard like that. Aren’t you worried?
But the Fox was unconcerned. He said:
Once upon a time, Brother Ox, there was a fellow who caused great offence to a queen, but since he was pretty good friends with the king, nothing at all happened, because the queen wouldn’t dare make a move. Get me?
Suffice it to say, he was pretty confident in his position and carried on enabling the Lion in his abusive ways. This went just about exactly as you’d expect…
Soon after that the ambassadors returned home and presented their discouraging report to the Lion King about the lack of welcome they’d had in the Land of Humans and the total failure of the Man King to hand over any presents.
After that duty was accomplished, the Lord Leopard set out for his home to be with his wife Lady Leopard. But on the way the Weasel stopped him and told him the bad news, that his wife had been dishonoured by the Lion King. The Leopard was full wroth at news, but wanted to know if his wife had done the deed willingly or had been forced against her will.
The Weasel apparently had seen everything:
Leopard, I have to tell you, she wept disconsolately at the way the Lion King had forced himself on her, and could do nothing against the outrage being committed on her. It was the Fox who put the king up to this and who encouraged him at all times.
The Leopard visited his wife and tried to console her, but his rage at the Lion King and the Fox was so great that soon he left her at home, and set out for the Lion King’s palace to exact retribution.
The Fox, from his position at the gate of the palace, saw the Leopard on his way, so he scurried inside quickly and said to the Lion KIng:
Your majesty, I think it would really be best at this point if you would keep me close to you always Why don’t you name me to the Royal Council, and that way I can stay with you here in the palace to watch out for your best interest at all times?
So it was done, and the Lion King quickly named the Peacock at the new gatekeeper to the palace. But the Peacock, taking position at the gate, wasn’t able to keep the Leopard out. He stormed in to the court and challenged the king:
False king, it was you who dishonoured my wife by force, and I wish to make it clear to all that you, Lion, are a tyrant and deserving of overthrow and death!
The Lion King was angered by this accusation, above all that everything had been made so embarrassingly public. He called out to the court to demand a royal champion to challenge the Leopard and defend his honour in combat.
There was dead silence. So the Fox spoke up:
What the Leopard is saying, disrespecting his royal master in this way, is a great offence to our Lord God! Whoever casts such dirty aspersions on the king also dishonours the whole kingdom, all of us. Therefore, I guarantee that both God and the Lion King will make it worthwhile to whomever steps up to meet this challenge!
The Panther had been listening to all this and remembered how he’d been disrespected by the Leopard and his preferential treatment at the hands of the Human King, who’d stroked the Leopard behind the ears and sat him at his right hand, while the Panther got nothing. His resentment boiled over and he stepped up to accept the challenge. The duel was on.
The next day everyone went to the field where the trial by combat was to take place. On the way there, the Rooster asked the Serpent who would win. The Serpent was in no doubt: whoever won would be the one chosen by God himself to prove the justice of his case. A trial by combat was the only logical and devout way to settle such matters, he hissed.
The battle lasted all day long. The Panther, who was physically stronger, was demoralised by the knowledge that he was defending a false king, whereas the furious Leopard was strengthened by his indignation, and reinforced in his determination to prove the truth of his case.
In the end, the bloodied Leopard ripped out the throat of the Panther and left his lifeless corpse on the field of battle. Everyone went silent and looked expectantly at the Lion King. He had just been proved guilty of serious crimes in an honourable trial by combat.
Enraged, the Lion King leapt out onto the arena and pounced on the exhausted Leopard. In a heartbeat it was over: the Lion had slain the Leopard, leaving his body leaking out its lifeblood and lying beside the Panther’s corpse.