The Book of Beasts - Chapter 8 (Finale)
Medieval fables by Ramon Llull, translated and adapted from the Catalan
[For the start of these tales, see Part 1]
The Fox’s treacherous machinations at last come to a head
With the Ox dead and all eaten up, the problem of who would replace him as a butler was raised, so the king asked the Fox – the only remaining advisor left on the Royal Council – for advice. Reynard the Wily Fox suggested that the Rabbit would be a good candidate, since he was a humble animal similar to the Cat, who had been the first royal servant before the Ox. You may remember that the much-valued Cat had been sent off to catch rats at the court of the Human King, while the Ox had of course just been made into a tasty snack.
The Lion King decreed that it should be so, and so Mr Rabbit joined the happy team at the Lion King’s court, Peacock becoming gatekeeper and Rabbit the butler. They feared Fox greatly, and the Lion King believed everything he said. So it was that in the court, and in the Kingdom of the Beasts generally, everything the Fox wished for was done.
The Fox was generally quite chuffed with his success so far, but he remembered the promise he’d made to the Urifant: that he would see to it that the Lion would somehow die and that the troublesome pachyderm would become king.
He was afraid that the Urifant would reveal this conspiracy and upset the precarious trust the king had in him. So now Fox became obsessed with the idea of assassinating the Lion King. He began to plot how to get rid of the troublesome Lion and install the Urifant as the new monarch. So he went to the Urifant and said:
The time has come for the Lion King to die. Now is the best time to strike, as I’m the only remaining councillor and I’ll be able to achieve it quite easily.
The Urifant was very thoughtful after hearing this proposal, and he started to have a short talk with himself all inside his big head:
– On the one hand, he mused, if I defy the wishes of the Fox, he could turn against me and cause my downfall... But, on the other hand, if I agree, he could also betray me, just as he is doing now with the Lion King, despite the fact that he’s always shown him absolute loyalty.
Thinking so hard about it hurt his head and threatened a gigantic headache – more head, more ache. And so the Urifant struggled with his thoughts to untangle them and make the voices stop talking at him so much:
– Enough! With the same tenacity that the Fox hastens to make the Lion disappear, I can get the king to kill him.
He quickly agreed with this plan which this new masterful head-voice had proposed.
– Because, if in a small head like the Fox’s itty-bitty head there is so much treachery, ingenuity and deceit, how much more loyalty, wisdom and sincerity must there be in a large spacious head like mine? Wait, did I say that part aloud?
The Fox, standing by while this inner dialogue played out, and seeing him so obviously disturbed, pressed him:
Brother Urifant, what are you so worried about? Why don't you work with me now, so you can become king before the Serpent, who is wise and skilful, returns from his diplomatic mission to the Land of the Humans?
The Fox, with these words, had given the Urifant the way to untangle the big knot he’d made inside his head
– Of course! I've got it. Have you? Yes… I'll wait for Serpent to return before I make any kind of deal with the Fox. Together we’ll plot how we can get rid of him. Who? Me and the Serpent against the Fox, dummy. Wait, did I say that part aloud?
Somehow, the Fox guessed that the intentions of the Urifant, who would delay in taking any action, were becoming murky, so he poured on the pressure:
Look, Urifant, if you don't decide to kill the king with me, I'll do it all by myself, no deals, and then you’ll be shut out of the new Fox Regime.
The Urifant was sore afraid of the Fox's wicked designs, so he asked him:
If I’m to become king, Mr Fox, what part do you want to play in my reign?
I would like to play the same role I have now, that‘s to say, to be your only advisor, and for the Rabbit to remain as your butler, and the Peacock stay on as your gatekeeper. A continuity administration, if you will.
And just how do you plan to cause the death of our monarch?
The Boar, of course. The Boar is always on the lookout to match the Lion King in prestige and strength, so I’ll warn him to beware of the king, who’s noticed his presumption and wants to kill him. Then I’ll warn the king that the Boar aims to be king, which will make him challenge the Boar in a duel. When the Boar is dead, and the Lion is all exhausted from that battle, that’s the moment that you, Urifant, will be able to strike. You kill him without any difficulty and then you can be promoted to monarch. Classic.
The Urifant, who’d now heard a very clever voice in his head, decided to take advantage of this strategy:
Mr Fox, any promises made without witnesses can easily be broken. I think it would be best if our pact were made in front of witnesses, to ensure that I am indeed to be made king according to your scheme. And that Rabbit and Peacock stay on as royal servants.
The Fox was doubtful because, of course, if there were witnesses, it would be easy for them to reveal the ploy and accuse him of treason. The Urifant, who was becoming cleverer by the minute, could sense these doubts, and proposed the following:
Obviously, Mr Fox, to avoid any disloyalty on the part of those who wouldn’t receive anything from this arrangement, we could ask that the witnesses be the Peacock and the Rabbit, who are also indirectly involved and stand to benefit in the new regime.
These words greatly reassured the Fox, and he immediately called the Peacock and the Rabbit, who acted as secret witnesses. The Urifant stated that the Fox would be his only advisor in the hypothetical case he one day were to become king, and swore an oath to this effect before the Peacock and the Rabbit.
Then, while the Fox went to talk to the Boar to carry out his plan, the Urifant asked to see the Lion King and told him everything that had happened to the Fox, from the beginning to the end, with all the ins and outs.
My Lord and King, I beg your royal pardon for the disloyalty I conceived against you. I regret it so much! I only want to be your most loyal servant. I really don't want to be a traitor.
The Lion King was much perturbed. He drew up to his full height and faced the Urifant:
And how can I know, Urifant, that everything you tell me is true?
You can be sure of this, your majesty, by considering how strange it is that the Fox has ended up being your only advisor, and how the Rabbit and the Peacock, who fear the Fox by nature, owe him their positions. Besides, you will now see how the Fox will come to inform you that the Boar wants to kill you. It’s not true – the Boar story is just a ploy in his wicked plan!
The Lion King was very sad to learn of the treachery of the Fox, whom he had treated with such consideration and respect. Urifant, who had now become very wise, with nothing but sagacious voices in his spacious head, consoled the Lion:
My liege, your dignity demands that you take charge of eliminating the Fox and that you govern with sense, once again ruling with good councillors, those who by loyalty and wisdom deserve the position. Me, for instance.
Afterwards, the Urifant went to visit the Boar to warn him of the betrayal that the Fox was ordering. At the same time, the Lion King was able to verify that everything the Urifant had told him was true, because the Fox acted just as the asute pachyderm had predicted.
So the Lion King called a great gathering in the Court of the Beasts, and when all the animals were silent, in a very loud and clear voice he demanded:
Mr Rabbit, and Mr Peacock, tell me, is it true that you have witnessed a secret pact that the Fox has made to bring about my death?
But the Fox spoke up before the frightened Rabbit and Peacock could answer
Lord King, I wanted to see if your subjects were really loyal to you. That's why I tempted the Urifant. It was a test, that’s all. There’s a lot more that treacherous big heffalump was aiming to do, and I never told Rabbit and Peacock about all of his wicked plans. Actually, I think the Urifant made some extra-secret plans with them that I never knew about, the traitor.
The Fox hoped that the fear he inspired in the Rabbit and the Peacock would be enough to silence them, but he didn’t take into account the superiority of the Lion, who emitted a terrible and deafening roar to remind these two small animals who was by nature the mightiest.
TELL ME THE TRUTH, VERMIN!
Broken by terror, both the Rabbit and the Peacock confessed their part in the secret pact. The Fox tried one more time to push his version:
My lord! It was all just a test of their loyalty, you gotta believe –
But it availed him naught. The Lion pounced on Fox and tore off his head in a heartbeat. It was all over.
From the moment the Fox was no longer around to sow discord, the Kingdom of the Beasts lived in peace. The Urifant and the Boar became part of the Council, along with other worthy animals, and the Rabbit and the Peacock were banished. I hear they became exotic dancers in the Land of Men. An interesting show, so they say.
And so it was that all the beasts lived happily ever after – except for the prey animals who get devoured by the noble predators, of course. But who cares about them?
This BOOK OF BEASTS is now ended. Go in peace, and serve your own lord loyally and with total devotion. For the worldly hierarchy is God’s sacred way, and the natural order supports it fully. That is, after all, why lions are kings.