Thanks so much Caleb, I'm trying to develop that as a counter to my tendency to go too heavily on the thematic side.
I could say that your own very strong examples (you among many others, of course) of evoking that kind of real-world physicality have helped show me the way.
I relate to the struggle very much, and have to check my indulgence in abstractions that make perfect sense in my floating head, but that might not mean much to others. Even though I do think abstraction and thematic development have their place, we can't do without them altogether
Thanks so much Hanna - I've been writing for about 18 months now, fiction at least. I've been a journo all my life, so that's about 30 years of articles and reports...
Thanks again, and by the way after reading this and my Midnight Vault story you may well get the notion that all my stories are weird tales with outcasts who may or may not be hallucinating aliens in response to individual trauma.
It’s definitely true that this one is very similar to the “It’s Never Aliens” one, but I think I have that out of my system now. Expect something a bit different next time but probably in that ‘near-horror’, ‘slipstream’ or ‘weird’ area which is what’s attracting me most these days - either that or radical psycho noir.
i wish I had read the whole thing before restacking the wonderful passage about Juniper with a completley incorrect take on the story and what you were doing/where you were going.
HOW WOULD ANYONE GUESS where you would warp factor 5 our minds out of that racecourse. Im still processing.
You never miss. You only get closer to the very dead centre every time.
This really erupted the its never aliens story back to the front of my mind.
Murphy, you’re truly next level. Im just going to take off my fez before i even start reading you now.
Also wanted to say the comparison with the MV2 It’s Never Aliens story is apt - in both cases alien infiltration becomes the mechanism to face intolerable situtations. There are other aprallels too, to the extent that this could almost be a take 2.
I don’t see that your earlier take is wrong in any way - the lost and lonely part is very much part of what’s going on here. In fact it could well be the only thing that’s happening, objectively speaking, all else being elaborate fantasies to keep from from facing the truth.
This is seriously one of the most exceptional pieces of writing I have read for ages. Every sentence is a gem and not a single word that shouldn't be there.
Utterly fucking mesmerising. In fact, I'd go as far as to say it's got genius running through it.
By the way - if I wasn't living below the poverty line and in desperate straits myself you'd get a dozen coffees and a founding member subscription from me without hesitation.
Perhaps poverty is fate for us genius writers in dystopia land.
Honestly at this stage appreciation from peers is my food and drink and a sincere appraisal of my work whether praiseworthy or critical is all I’m looking for these days.
Have you thought about submitting stuff to lit mags? It's one thing I'm embarking on at the moment - one possible income avenue of course. Hmm, I think I just had a deja vu. Rather than thinking it means they changed something, I think deja vu means being on the right path.
I've just been asking for recommendations on where to submit, I think that it's something I intend to do a lot more of this year as I feel more confident in my work after a year's publishing on here...
you shoudl check out angelique fawns posts - she does a monthly calls for submissions round up, pretty much monthly anyway - loads of suggestions there.
You should be able to subscribe somewhere via that link. There are a few mags in that list actually which seem to be after 'dark spec fic' - sounds like the sort of thing you might be interested in. I'm seriously thinking about sending something.
But I can say that if I was an editor of such a mag and I had this latest story of yours land in my inbox then I'd snap it up!
Strange, lovely
Thank you Keith !
This is such a solid piece with so many interesting moments and creepy images but for some reason this moment is my absolute favorite:
The moustache was thin, and possibly resembled that of Ronald Colman, whoever that was
Even when you’re writing a thriller or horror the humor hits hard
Thanks so much Alex !
You've got a knack for vivid physicality, Murph
Thanks so much Caleb, I'm trying to develop that as a counter to my tendency to go too heavily on the thematic side.
I could say that your own very strong examples (you among many others, of course) of evoking that kind of real-world physicality have helped show me the way.
I relate to the struggle very much, and have to check my indulgence in abstractions that make perfect sense in my floating head, but that might not mean much to others. Even though I do think abstraction and thematic development have their place, we can't do without them altogether
How long have you been writing, Murph? I really like your style.
Thanks so much Hanna - I've been writing for about 18 months now, fiction at least. I've been a journo all my life, so that's about 30 years of articles and reports...
You're welcome. There are a lot of former journalists or journo grads on here! Turns out you fellas can write. Who'd have thunk it?
Thanks again, and by the way after reading this and my Midnight Vault story you may well get the notion that all my stories are weird tales with outcasts who may or may not be hallucinating aliens in response to individual trauma.
It’s definitely true that this one is very similar to the “It’s Never Aliens” one, but I think I have that out of my system now. Expect something a bit different next time but probably in that ‘near-horror’, ‘slipstream’ or ‘weird’ area which is what’s attracting me most these days - either that or radical psycho noir.
i wish I had read the whole thing before restacking the wonderful passage about Juniper with a completley incorrect take on the story and what you were doing/where you were going.
HOW WOULD ANYONE GUESS where you would warp factor 5 our minds out of that racecourse. Im still processing.
You never miss. You only get closer to the very dead centre every time.
This really erupted the its never aliens story back to the front of my mind.
Murphy, you’re truly next level. Im just going to take off my fez before i even start reading you now.
Also wanted to say the comparison with the MV2 It’s Never Aliens story is apt - in both cases alien infiltration becomes the mechanism to face intolerable situtations. There are other aprallels too, to the extent that this could almost be a take 2.
I don’t see that your earlier take is wrong in any way - the lost and lonely part is very much part of what’s going on here. In fact it could well be the only thing that’s happening, objectively speaking, all else being elaborate fantasies to keep from from facing the truth.
Really appreciate the comment, Nick.
This is seriously one of the most exceptional pieces of writing I have read for ages. Every sentence is a gem and not a single word that shouldn't be there.
Utterly fucking mesmerising. In fact, I'd go as far as to say it's got genius running through it.
when i finished this i was thinking i was going to have to tag Evelyn into this!!!! My joy at seeing you already here was great.
By the way - if I wasn't living below the poverty line and in desperate straits myself you'd get a dozen coffees and a founding member subscription from me without hesitation.
Perhaps poverty is fate for us genius writers in dystopia land.
Honestly at this stage appreciation from peers is my food and drink and a sincere appraisal of my work whether praiseworthy or critical is all I’m looking for these days.
Have you thought about submitting stuff to lit mags? It's one thing I'm embarking on at the moment - one possible income avenue of course. Hmm, I think I just had a deja vu. Rather than thinking it means they changed something, I think deja vu means being on the right path.
I've just been asking for recommendations on where to submit, I think that it's something I intend to do a lot more of this year as I feel more confident in my work after a year's publishing on here...
Thanks for the suggestion Evelyn
you shoudl check out angelique fawns posts - she does a monthly calls for submissions round up, pretty much monthly anyway - loads of suggestions there.
I subscribe to sub club (here on Substack), which can be useful (similar to chill subs). I also have a newsletter from 'authors publish', which sends me regular submission info to my inbox. Latest one here: https://authorspublish.com/5-paying-literary-magazines-to-submit-to-in-january-2026/
You should be able to subscribe somewhere via that link. There are a few mags in that list actually which seem to be after 'dark spec fic' - sounds like the sort of thing you might be interested in. I'm seriously thinking about sending something.
But I can say that if I was an editor of such a mag and I had this latest story of yours land in my inbox then I'd snap it up!
That’s so very kind of you Evelyn. I feel humbled to be honest. Thanks !