Every time I read it it gets better - and when you read the notes of other readers, you pick up more nuaunces that other eyes found.
Something deeply affecting, the apocalypse, the aftermath. When you see the thick layers of shit that engulf us, and the billionaire paedof fascisto-narcissist sociopaths that have floated to the top of this death slurry - don't you just want it all to burn down? A clean and all consuming burn. I'd take this sherrif to lead us to a brighter more human future any day. I'd call her auntie, though.
So many lines in this I don;t know where to start.
And of course, there's a whole film in this short story, and a whole wonderful novel could unfold like a cactus flower.
You are SO hungering for a white-hat sheriff, ain’t you Nick? Some nice incorruptible leader who will keep you safe like you used to feel as a lad? Even though we were daily expecting to be incinerated in a nuclear apocalypse?
I’m afraid this sheriff might even do her best, but you know what the man said about the new world struggling to be born: it is a time of monsters. Sorry chum, only the risen and organized workers as a unified class will save us; that is, only us can save us.
When she said "call me mommy" my heart broke. You already know that my answer to how I'd imagine this proceeding would draw in hope and healing, and that it would be in the process of finally being mommy instead of sheriff that she'd find her humanity, taught by the kids, and together they'd help post-collapse society grow towards some kind of localised anarcho-collaborative band societies, forager society for the new century. Gardeners, herbal healers, scribes, wise elders, willing youths for construction and water-captire projects, etc. I might have a chance at seeing that turn if this was a Murph & Worth Collab, eh? Great piece of work. So much in that single word, "mommy". (Ah, and the heartbreak of the horse; husband and horse, a whole world gone).
Here’s the thing though - you know that in order to bring about this fine arrangement she’d have to do something about the self-centred townsfolk who refused to help her even in burying her husband and are hanging like vultures to strip down the horse for meat n’ leather.
Why does she signify to the child that “happiness is a warm gun”? An army of tiny cult-trained beasts would be just the ticket to impose that kind of order.
I wouldn’t read too much optimism into the JW worldview, looking at his own post-apocalyptic output there’s not too much happy-touchy stuff going on there, about the same level of slaughter I would venture…
Would recommend for you the Ursula K. Le Guin utopian fantasy Always Coming Home which describes exactly the kind of non-hierarchical and supremely co-operative post-apocalyptic society you crave. It’s a fine vision, but unfortunately since it’s rather too perfect a world it’s somewhat boring as a fiction experience.
As my first official taste of this SUM FLUX counter culture buffet, I am deeply satisfied with my selection from the menu. Loved every bit of this, Murph, especially the MC.
I had the same thought as Evelyn - was waiting for the kid to straight up shoot her. And maybe because he did not, the ending was all the more unsettling and tense. Does she actually have control over these wildlings? Or are they simply following her back to a new home, only to consume her there?
Excellent work. I would love to read more of this.
Thanks for the thoughtful reply Shane - I left the ending ambivalent with the thought that what readers saw as the outcome would in some sense reveal to them what they saw as the result of our society's breakdown. We've had some varied and interesting responses sure nuff!
I love that. I'll be sure to read all the comments. What a fun idea. So, I guess my take is that we'll all eventually devolve into cannibalism. I mean, duh, right?
In relation to my story that would probably predict that the townsfolk would dig up the dead husband of the main character. And hints pretty clearly as to what sacrilege soup is made of.
Thanks as always for an insightful comment, EKB! Speaking of the ending, I had a particular notion of what the main character would do with the kids, which maybe in an extended version I would make explicit. How do you see the situation developing from the shootout?
Obviously a seriously dark twist would be that she's a cult-type too, which is why she insists on 'Mommy'.
Or she just carves out her own fiefdom, conditioning these children to be her little army as it were. And if they were in a cult (the kids, I mean), does this mean we could have some multiple personalities going on?
To be honest, speculation at this point is difficult - I will leave that to your excellent mind.
But I love it so far as - yeah - a sort of prologue. (or maybe the epilogue?).
I also loved how the storyline joined itself up (very pulp fiction esque).
Your thoughts on how it plays out chime with mine. I haven't developed the ideas in any depth but I see her as estranged from her hostile townspeople - Iike a soured and childless Marge from Fargo.
On the purely practical side, it would be hard to feed a brood of kids without coercing the townsfolk in some way.
All of that I left open ended for now with the suggestion that "Happiness is a Warm Gun". Maybe this will get a follow-up story in the collection "Sorrows of the Kollapse".
I do like that 'happiness is a warm gun'. And yes, I did get the estranged from the townspeople aspect. There is certainly a lot of suggestion of subtext here which yearns for detail in a follow-up.
And I love that working title 'Sorrows of the Kollapse'.
I don't know, but are there hints of Deliverance here too?
I haven't actually seen Deliverance but I have seen a fair number of slasher horrors set in backwoods, I'm watching original Texas Chain Saw Massacre at the moment. Thanks for the support on the collection title!
You might love Deliverance. I think it’s great. The book is fantastic too. And while you’re in bleak early ‘70s horror grit (love Chainsaw—every time I watch it it strikes me as more and more experimental), now’s the time for Deliverance.
Interesting Coen connection to bring it full-circle: Dickey’s third novel To the White Sea was a pet project of the Coens’ for a long time, they’d written a script but it kept falling through. It’s the greatest film they never made. Would have been incredible.
Yes. The buildup to the gunfight of the beginning was pitch perfect. Felt like I was watching a movie. Language exquisite! Not surprised how much I loved this.
I'd watch a full 4 series of Sheriff Val Martins and this world you have created. Would love to see how it all unfolds. Really liked this.
Thank you so much Rosie, I hope to do a lot more in this world soon, including a follow-up story to this one. Appreciate your support!
Remembered reading this when it came through for judging, thought I sniffed your genius in it. Loved the structure of this
Thanks a lot Will !
Every time I read it it gets better - and when you read the notes of other readers, you pick up more nuaunces that other eyes found.
Something deeply affecting, the apocalypse, the aftermath. When you see the thick layers of shit that engulf us, and the billionaire paedof fascisto-narcissist sociopaths that have floated to the top of this death slurry - don't you just want it all to burn down? A clean and all consuming burn. I'd take this sherrif to lead us to a brighter more human future any day. I'd call her auntie, though.
So many lines in this I don;t know where to start.
And of course, there's a whole film in this short story, and a whole wonderful novel could unfold like a cactus flower.
You are SO hungering for a white-hat sheriff, ain’t you Nick? Some nice incorruptible leader who will keep you safe like you used to feel as a lad? Even though we were daily expecting to be incinerated in a nuclear apocalypse?
I’m afraid this sheriff might even do her best, but you know what the man said about the new world struggling to be born: it is a time of monsters. Sorry chum, only the risen and organized workers as a unified class will save us; that is, only us can save us.
she'd be my choice to follow post apocalypse above the sort of men we have in charge of shit now, yes indeed.
When she said "call me mommy" my heart broke. You already know that my answer to how I'd imagine this proceeding would draw in hope and healing, and that it would be in the process of finally being mommy instead of sheriff that she'd find her humanity, taught by the kids, and together they'd help post-collapse society grow towards some kind of localised anarcho-collaborative band societies, forager society for the new century. Gardeners, herbal healers, scribes, wise elders, willing youths for construction and water-captire projects, etc. I might have a chance at seeing that turn if this was a Murph & Worth Collab, eh? Great piece of work. So much in that single word, "mommy". (Ah, and the heartbreak of the horse; husband and horse, a whole world gone).
Here’s the thing though - you know that in order to bring about this fine arrangement she’d have to do something about the self-centred townsfolk who refused to help her even in burying her husband and are hanging like vultures to strip down the horse for meat n’ leather.
Why does she signify to the child that “happiness is a warm gun”? An army of tiny cult-trained beasts would be just the ticket to impose that kind of order.
I wouldn’t read too much optimism into the JW worldview, looking at his own post-apocalyptic output there’s not too much happy-touchy stuff going on there, about the same level of slaughter I would venture…
Would recommend for you the Ursula K. Le Guin utopian fantasy Always Coming Home which describes exactly the kind of non-hierarchical and supremely co-operative post-apocalyptic society you crave. It’s a fine vision, but unfortunately since it’s rather too perfect a world it’s somewhat boring as a fiction experience.
Just excellent A.P. - really well done. Enjoyed it. - Jim
Thank you very kindly Jim, happy you enjoyed it!
As my first official taste of this SUM FLUX counter culture buffet, I am deeply satisfied with my selection from the menu. Loved every bit of this, Murph, especially the MC.
I had the same thought as Evelyn - was waiting for the kid to straight up shoot her. And maybe because he did not, the ending was all the more unsettling and tense. Does she actually have control over these wildlings? Or are they simply following her back to a new home, only to consume her there?
Excellent work. I would love to read more of this.
Thanks for the thoughtful reply Shane - I left the ending ambivalent with the thought that what readers saw as the outcome would in some sense reveal to them what they saw as the result of our society's breakdown. We've had some varied and interesting responses sure nuff!
I love that. I'll be sure to read all the comments. What a fun idea. So, I guess my take is that we'll all eventually devolve into cannibalism. I mean, duh, right?
In relation to my story that would probably predict that the townsfolk would dig up the dead husband of the main character. And hints pretty clearly as to what sacrilege soup is made of.
Haha yes, the soup du jour of the apocalypse to be sure.
Amazing! I got noir plus Tarantino doing a post-apocalypse short film. And simply brilliant snappy style. And so much unspoken subtext.
Part of me thought the kid was going to shoot her. I'm guessing you played with that possibility in your head when you reached that point? I would've.
This one gets 11/10 from me easy.
Thanks as always for an insightful comment, EKB! Speaking of the ending, I had a particular notion of what the main character would do with the kids, which maybe in an extended version I would make explicit. How do you see the situation developing from the shootout?
That's a good question.
Obviously a seriously dark twist would be that she's a cult-type too, which is why she insists on 'Mommy'.
Or she just carves out her own fiefdom, conditioning these children to be her little army as it were. And if they were in a cult (the kids, I mean), does this mean we could have some multiple personalities going on?
To be honest, speculation at this point is difficult - I will leave that to your excellent mind.
But I love it so far as - yeah - a sort of prologue. (or maybe the epilogue?).
I also loved how the storyline joined itself up (very pulp fiction esque).
Your thoughts on how it plays out chime with mine. I haven't developed the ideas in any depth but I see her as estranged from her hostile townspeople - Iike a soured and childless Marge from Fargo.
On the purely practical side, it would be hard to feed a brood of kids without coercing the townsfolk in some way.
All of that I left open ended for now with the suggestion that "Happiness is a Warm Gun". Maybe this will get a follow-up story in the collection "Sorrows of the Kollapse".
I do like that 'happiness is a warm gun'. And yes, I did get the estranged from the townspeople aspect. There is certainly a lot of suggestion of subtext here which yearns for detail in a follow-up.
And I love that working title 'Sorrows of the Kollapse'.
I don't know, but are there hints of Deliverance here too?
I haven't actually seen Deliverance but I have seen a fair number of slasher horrors set in backwoods, I'm watching original Texas Chain Saw Massacre at the moment. Thanks for the support on the collection title!
You might love Deliverance. I think it’s great. The book is fantastic too. And while you’re in bleak early ‘70s horror grit (love Chainsaw—every time I watch it it strikes me as more and more experimental), now’s the time for Deliverance.
Interesting Coen connection to bring it full-circle: Dickey’s third novel To the White Sea was a pet project of the Coens’ for a long time, they’d written a script but it kept falling through. It’s the greatest film they never made. Would have been incredible.
Lol. It's been a while since I saw that movie. It's seriously disturbing and the ending is... well...
Yes. The buildup to the gunfight of the beginning was pitch perfect. Felt like I was watching a movie. Language exquisite! Not surprised how much I loved this.
Thank you so much for your very kind comment Nick!
This is Cormac McCarthy territory....
Maybe... or what inspired Cormac McCarthy to get into movies? A certain Coen brothers joint called Fargo...?
Apocalyptic. Feels like an prologue before an epic journey
I'm considering a collection of tales set in the same post-apocalyptic world of the Kollapse, so you could be onto something there...
Yay! I was going to say I want to see more of this world!
I can see it dude I really can
TALKING HEADS