39 Comments

What a ride, and a great addition to the Substack Zone. I was caught off guard by the last few scenes, but it’s a great ending

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Thanks very much Keith, happy you enjoyed it.

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Absolutely love it.

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Thanks Adriaan, appreciate the comment.

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the end is so perfectly twilight zone

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Thanks EJ, I imagine a snap zoom out from the empty box, a cut to the bleak expression, then a fade...

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Loved the dialogue, and the overall piece. Could definitely see this in the TZ. It was quite good.

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Thanks Edith, I'm pleased that you liked it.

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Lovely piece of writing. Great ending.

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Thank you kindly Troy, happy you enjoyed it.

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Loved this story. Such a bleak ending.

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Thanks Shaina, I'm looking forward to getting into your story too!

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Bravo!! Feels just right as a twilight zone story.

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Thanks Nick I'm so glad you liked it

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i was hooked the whole time, loved the twist at the end

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Thanks so much Will, I'm very much chuffed that you liked it.

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I can see this episode play out perfectly in my head. With the exception of the quiet engine (no silent engines in the 50s/60s), this very well could have been one of those classic episodes. You nailed that classic TZ vibe. Well done, A.P.! 👏 Of course, I expected as much from you.

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Thank you so much WP3, I'm very pleased you enjoyed it.

Do you really think the producers of the 50s-60s show would have allowed explicit references to stealing land and betraying agreements with Native Americans, scourging slaves with barbed cats-o-nine-tales, and overtime marital infidelity in the matrimonial bed?

If so, it was a lot more progressive than I imagined...

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It wasn't a politically correct era by any means, and in some ways the 60s was more relaxed on certain subjects than we are today, but I do see your point. 😆

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Was really excited for this when I saw it was by A.P Murphy and was not disappointed.

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Thanks Andy, your support and interest are so welcome.

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THIS WAS GREAT!! I love the use of language here to suggest the three are not so smart. I loved the plot twist of the cheating and what was in the box. 🤣🤣 very INNERESTING

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Thank you so much NJ I'm very happy you enjoyed it!

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Great piece; really sucked me into the time and place.

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Thank you Natalie for yoour kind comment.

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Oh man, such great dialogue! And I was definitely not expecting that twist. So good!

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Thank you kindly HG!

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Like Bryan said, the dialogue in this piece really sings.

Thoroughly enjoyed this story, Murph.

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Thank you Seany

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Great dialogue throughout. It was really singing in the piece. Oh but poor poor Garrett...

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Thanks so much Bryan - I wouldn't expend too much sympathy on Garret, Emmie tells me he was a POS.

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Oh how you led me on throughout! Thank you. I enjoyed this piece.

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Thank you so much Hanna, I really appreciate your comment!

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You're welcome. Emerald will stay with me, but the descriptions of the bed posts and the scourge are burned into my consciousness now. Gross and gripping.

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I do my best

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